On to Parquet Court!

God continues to amaze me with His sovereignty.  More new from the adoption front, which is awesome.  But even more awesome is the gentle reminder (or perhaps loud thunk on my head) that He is in control, and has been since the beginning.

Just days after the long awaited phone call from our agency telling us our dossier received dispensation we received an email telling us we were OUT of IBESR and moving to Parquet Court.  I was not expecting to hear this news so quickly!  

With this news came a flurry of activity -- more paperwork to fill out on our side, court dates and Embassy appointments to schedule.  We were informed that we needed to be in Haiti within the next 2-3 weeks for two court appearances and one trip to the Embassy. I had just booked a trip to Haiti less than a month earlier for the end of July--Friday through Monday-- perfect timing!  Or so I thought.  Turns out we need to be in Haiti for 4 business mornings in order to accomplish all the court appointments.  No big deal, I can just change our trip to include a few extra days, right?  It's not that easy.  July happens to be the busiest month of the year for Weston’s business.  And the week we need to be in Haiti for 4 business days happens to be the busiest week of July for him.  The rest of his year hinges on the summer, with July being the most important month.  He simply can not afford to be out of the office for 5 days, much less be out of the country with no access to internet or phone.  

After 8 months of waiting for our dispensation we are told we now must head to Haiti during the one and only week Weston really needs to be in the office.  Seriously?!?

I immediately started praying that all of Weston’s business would miraculously be taken care of before we had to leave on the trip. Please Lord, I prayed, make it so we can be gone for 4 business days!  

After a few emails back and forth with our agency and a phone call we were told it would be no big deal if we needed to change our trip to sometime in August.  Traveling in August meant changing where we stayed in Haiti and having another orphanage director take us to our appointments because our orphanage director would be out of the country (which is why we booked our weekend July trip in the first place, to be there when the orphanage director would be there).  We were so grateful for the flexibility and accommodations being offered by both our agency and the orphanage directors in Haiti.  We were also told our delay in going to court would only delay the adoption process by the extra couple of weeks it took us to get to Haiti, which made me feel better.  I mean, after 8 months of waiting, to then find out you are delaying the next step?  That was stressing me out!

I found new flights for August and was ready to book them when I figured I should quickly run the dates by our agency just to double check and make sure our travel week was acceptable to everyone in Haiti, before I spent money to transfer our tickets (a pretty penny, I might add).

I received an email back the next day -- We don’t have to appear in court because we have already been to the lower courts. Our paperwork can be submitted directly to the higher courts.  We don’t have to change our trip, and we don’t have to be in Haiti for 4 business days.  I almost cried.

How in the world did that happen?!?  When we made our first trip to Haiti our orphanage director took us to a building where we signed some paperwork in front of a witness and then to an appointment to see a “Dean” where we were asked a lot of questions and had to show a picture of us with Christina.  We had no idea we were going to have these appointments, nor did we really understand what they were.  Those were our lower court appointments.  

God knew.  He knew when our Dossier would be released from IBESR and that we would need to be in Haiti the exact week Weston needed to be at the office.  And He handled it.  My prayers were totally answered, but in a way so much bigger than I could have possibly imagined.  Miraculous.

We were able to make an Embassy appointment for the morning we leave.  Our appointment is at 7am, our flight leaves at 1:15pm.  We don’t even have to change our outgoing flight.  Another miracle!

I have no idea how much longer the process will take.  It feels like everything has sped up considerably, but the truth is it could all stall again.  Our paperwork could languish on another desk.  But the last couple of weeks have given me hope on so many levels.  Hope that the Haitian system does work.  Hope that our adoption will be finalized and we will bring Christina home.  But mostly, it has bolstered my faith.  Faith that God has it all under control.  That He is in charge.  And He answers prayers.  But in ways far beyond what my brain could even think to imagine.  Although I know this to be true in theory, I love it when He shows me in a tangible way.  Sometimes I just need that reminder!

I will have new pictures and new stories of Christina in just two weeks -- can’t wait to go back and love on her!

Finally! After 9 months we have our Presidential Dispensation!

Got great news yesterday! In the middle of my 20 mile training run my cell phone ran (it is a miracle I heard it and then answered it in time -- usually I don’t hear my phone when I run). On the other end was our adoption agency, telling me we have received our Presidential Dispensation! I could hardly keep running -- it is difficult to run while you are crying!

We still need to find out where exactly our paperwork is: Has our Dispensation been published in the Le Moniteur so that it is official? It can’t be signed off on by IBESR (Haitian Social Services) until it is published in Le Moniteur -- and Le Moniteur only comes out every month or so. Once IBESR has signed off on our paperwork and granted us an Authorization of Adoption, we move on to Parquet Court, which is a series of steps and processes between multiple Haitian offices. Then our paperwork goes to the Ministry of the Interior, then finally Christina can get her visa.

But let me back up a bit and explain what has happened in Haiti since our paperwork hit the system in November, 2011. There are going to be a lot of changes in the near future in Haitian adoptions.

In May, 2012 the Director of IBESR made the decision to close IBESR to new adoption cases in order to work through the back log of files. They are trying to streamline their process so that a dossier only sits in IBESR for 2 months (ours has been in IBESR since November, 2011.) IBESR says they will begin accepting new cases in August.

On June 11, 2012 Haiti ratified the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption. This will change the way adoptions are processed in Haiti. Most countries who ratify the Hague convention end up having to put a halt on new adoptions until they get their systems in place. Fortunately, adoptions already in process are usually grandfathered in. There are a lot of uncertainties at this time regarding the future of adoption in Haiti. We are hopeful that in the end this will mean better systems, less corruption and a shorter wait for all those sweet kiddos waiting to go home.

If you are interested in learning more about what Haiti is doing, check out All Blessing International's Haiti Blog and Adoption Process page.

But even with all of the unknowns and changes to the process, we are thrilled that we have finally moved forward in the system. We have been waiting since November for something to happen with our file. This is huge!

Last week I booked plane tickets for Weston, Sam (our 16 year old) and me to visit Christina at the end of July. If our paperwork moves quickly through IBESR we could end up having our court date on our trip! But if our paperwork isn’t out of IBESR in the next couple of weeks we will have to postpone our trip until we are in Parquet Court because once in Parquet we are given two to three weeks to show up in Haiti for a court appearance. It doesn’t make sense to visit Christina and then just a couple of weeks later have to fly to Haiti again for our court date. (Well, if finances were unlimited, I wouldn’t mind doing that, but since they are not, and plane tickets are expensive, it make sense to combine our next trip and our court date, even if we have to change our tickets.)

We know we still have more waiting to do. Our prayer is that our paperwork will continue to move smoothly through the system. If it does, there is a good chance Christina could be home by Christmas! What an amazing present that would be!

Our last day in Haiti...and reflections of our trip.

March 30, 2012

We woke Christina up just as the sun was coming up. She did not want to wake up. We got her ready, packed her bags and went down to breakfast. Sonia was nowhere to be found, but we figured she would show up when it was time for Christina to leave. I think this was the sweetest, most fun Christina had been for us yet.

She chatted and smiled through breakfast. We played on the patio for a while; she decided I made a terrific jungle gym and climbed all over me, laughing and talking.

We headed back to our room to finish packing and she helped us put things in our bags and tidy up the room. Suddenly there was a knock on our door and Sonia's husband told us he was ready to take us to the airport. (No time to take a shower, I guess not taking one last night was a huge mistake, now I had to travel all sticky and gross!) I asked who was going to take Christina and he replied that a driver was waiting to take her back to the orphanage. We picked up our bags, and Christina, thinking she was going with us on another fun excursion grabbed her things and happily carried them down the stairs to the carport. She was chatting and giggling as we loaded her bag into one car and our bags into another. We hugged and kissed her goodbye and Sophie and Weston began to cry. She was not sure why we were so upset until she suddenly realized she was not going with us. The driver buckled her into the backseat of his car and the look on her face broke my heart. Once again she had that sad, withdrawn look that she greeted us with only two short days earlier. A vacant stare.  She wouldn't even look at me or say goodbye.

We got in our car, Sophie was sobbing, but trying to keep herself composed. And we drove away. Knowing that Christina was the back seat of the car completely alone, with no one she trusted to explain to her what just happened was almost unbearable. I forced myself to look out the window and not think about it. Sophie continued to cry for most of the drive, which should have been 30 minutes but ended up taking us almost two hours. The night before it had rained pretty hard for a couple of hours and the roads were a muddy, flooded mess. Rivers of dirty water and trash raced down the gutters and the mud was a foot thick, swallowing tires and shoes that tried to get through it. Pedestrians did their best to avoid the puddles and muck, but most were covered to their knees in grey dirt. But at least they were making forward progress on the road as we sat in a true traffic jam. I have never before experienced the chaos of Haiti traffic like this. Cars made their own lanes, trying to pass anywhere they could. A two lane road turned into 7 lanes, cars drove on sidewalks, on the opposite side of the road. Horns honked and at one point a police officer, trying to direct traffic through an impassable intersection actually drew his pistol to get cars to stop. I watched as men took small shovels and attempted to clear muck and water from the flooded roads.  What a hopeless job, because the minute it rains again all the work they did will be back in the streets. It reminded me of the story I had heard about prisoners being forced to carry rocks from one end of a yard to the other, only to carry them back again when they were finished, until they went crazy.  We started to worry we wouldn't make our flight. Although I was never afraid for our safety, it is amazing how safe you can feel enclosed in a car, I marveled at the craziness of the street in front of me. 

We finally made it to the airport, said good bye to Sonia's husband and did our best to ignore the men trying to take our bags and "help" us check in. One man tried to tell us if we followed him he could get us checked in faster. We had to pay him $3 just to get him to leave us alone.

We checked in. The ticket agent asked us is Sophie was a "garçon" or "fil" and did not believe me when I said "fil". I could tell that behind the hands they had over their mouths they were discussing Sophie's short hair.

We went through two security check points and arrived at a large crowded, noisy waiting room with no gates, no clock, no signs, nothing to indicate where our flight was going to board. We asked an airport employee where Insel air was and we were told to sit anywhere. Our boarding time came and went. We noticed that others had boarding passes like ours, so we figured we had to be in the right place. And since no planes had taken off, at least we knew we hadn't missed the flight.

After an hour or so an employee yelled "Insel" and we stood up and followed a crowd through a door to a flight of stairs, where people jockeyed for position to be first in line. No rows were called, just one giant exodus to the plane. It was all we could do to stay together. It wasn't as though people were rude, but at the same time they were certainly not going to do anything to help a fellow passenger. It was every man for himself.

We climbed up a steep metal staircase each carrying two carry-on bags. We had not checked any of our bags, in hopes of being able to put them in the overhead bins and avoid a long line at customs in Miami.

Finally we were in our seats, luggage stowed and ready for the 2 hour flight home. The flight was uneventful, except for the occasional bout of tears from Sophie-- she missed Christina and couldn't believe we had to leave her.

Another trip behind us.

As I reflect back on the trip, I have mixed emotions. It was amazing getting to spend one-on-one time with Christina. I loved that Sophie and Christina got along so well and that Sophie fell in love with her little sister. I loved seeing the true Christina emerge. A smart, chatty, fun-loving, energetic little girl. I was glad to see what things made her come out of her shell and what made her withdraw. It will help so much to know this before we bring her home. But my heart breaks with the knowledge that even though the orphanage is a good place, it is not a place where Christina's personality thrives. She prefers quiet, calm environments and the orphanage is anything but that. Just like some kids do well in day care and others don't, Christina just doesn't do as well in crowds or lots of activity.  We never saw Christina cry.  I wonder if she has taught herself not to.  And she never truly hugged us or kissed us.  Yes, she snuggled up to us and wanted us to hold her, but there was never a real hug or kiss that she initiated.

I am overwhelmingly sad at the way our goodbye transpired. I had no idea a driver was going to load her up in the back seat of a car and transport her the hour or more drive back to the orphanage. What was going on in her head that entire time? Did anyone tell her where she was going? Did she cry? Did the driver console her? Or was he wearing his earbuds like he did when he picked us up from the airport on our first day, and keep to himself? Did she withdraw back into herself like I watched her do every time she was in a new situation? And once she got back to the orphanage, was she glad to be back? What did she tell her friends about her time with us? Did the nannies help her process her experience? How long did it take her to get back into the swing of orphanage routine? And has she forgotten us?  Or worse, decided she doesn't like us because we left her?

The culture is so very different, I can't imagine that our visit was explained in a way that would make sense to me, as a mom and American.

But more than anything, if I am honest, I am angry. I am angry at the Haitian government for having slow, antiquated processes. I am angry at the people who took kids illeagally after the 2010 earthquake, making the process slow even further. I know that was not their intention, but the fallout of that was a further distrust of the Haitian people towards Americans and adoption. Our paperwork has been in the Haitian government system since November, 2011.  We have not yet gotten one of the many signatures required to move forward, and according to Sonia, she has no idea when we will.  Presently our paperwork is sitting on the President's desk awaiting dispensation, and it could sit there for months.  He has no incentive to sign our paperwork, except when an American celebrity, like Oprah, visits.  Then he signs a few as a gesture of "goodwill."

And if I am truly honest with myself, I am angry at God. Because ultimately He could perform a miracle and cause our paperwork to go though faster. He could do something. You can’t tell me that Christina’s life is not being damaged in some way by living in the orphanage. Her little personality is not meant to be there. She is meant to be with us, a calm, laid-back family who gets that sometimes you need quiet. We already have one kid who didn’t do crowds and noise well when he was little. We know how to deal with that. I can’t even really think about it or I get so mad/hurt that I want to scream. How can where she is be best? Why won’t God do something?

And yet, I have a choice. I can choose to turn from Him, to tell Him he is not being fair. Or I can choose to really trust that He does have her best interest, and ours, in mind. That He is holding all of us in the palm of His hand and loves us immeasurably and is guiding our steps. I don’t feel like that, but I have to choose that path. He is the one who turned our hearts to adoption. It was His voice that told both Weston and me this was the path to choose. And He has it under control. He wouldn’t have placed us here without a plan. It is simply a plan that at this moment I do not see or understand. And I know that through it I will grow, Weston will grow, Christina and all our kids will grow. Our choice is to grow closer to Him through it. Ultimately, isn't that what He wants for us?  Isn't that His best plan?

Today, with tears stinging my eyes, that is what I must cling to in the midst of my anger and hurt. I will continue to pray with all my heart that He move the government to quick action. That Christina comes home in record time. I will pray for a miracle. But a miracle has already happened. She is my child. A little girl, born a world away, years after I decided I was done having kids, has become mine because of Him. So I know He can perform miracles and if He chooses, will perform another. But regardless, I will continue to choose Him, and trust Him, because it is not about what He can do for me now, but what He has already done for me on the cross.

Christina day one

Christina day three

Can you see a difference?

She was meant for our family.